Worn

Man, has it been a rough few days!  I have been so tired and cranky!  I'm going to blame it on the hormones, but it makes me so MAD sometimes (which doesn't help matters!).  I am to the point now where very tiny thing makes me cry, and I hate that!  In one word, I am WORN!           



One thing I like to do when the kiddos get to bed is turn on music and just sit for a minute.  It lets me refocus so I can get those last few things done before the night wraps up.   Tonight, I am feeling particularly emotional after a VERY trying day with the kids, and the first song that came on was this one I'm going to share.  How appropriate, right?   Take a listen, then keep reading.

Awesome, right?  Listen, I know there are people out there going through MUCH harder things than I am...but I needed this tonight.  To me, life is tiresome right now.  To you, it may be something else, but personally, it is YOUR life.  Everyone goes through things, and it is important to them, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, or someone else.  I really don't think I am making much sense right now, but it works in my brain.


 Think about those words--
    I'm tired, I'm worn, my heart is heavy. My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world.  We have ALL been there, haven't we?  It's tough sometimes!  There's that despair, that feeling like you aren't going to make it...but the part of the song I love the most is Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends, that You can mend a heart that's frail and torn.  Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn. Though I'm worn, I'm worn.  Therw's hope!  Even when it seems like there's not, God can take your broken and torn heart and mend it with His love.  One day, the struggle within us WILL end!  It may not seem that way right now, but be of good cheer, He has overcome the world!  

One is the loneliest number...

     Have you ever been in a crowded room, and felt completely and utterly alone?  I can't tell you how many times I have felt this way.  These past few months have been pretty tough for me, and most of it is all because of an important decision I made.  I believe I made the RIGHT decision, but the "results" are harder to take than I thought it would be.  

     Sometimes when you stand up for what you believe in, the world becomes a lonely place.  People who you thought were your friends completely turn from you, and voila! you are completely alone.  It's a tough place to be, but at least you did the right thing...right?  

     As a woman, I think that it is pretty important to have a good friend..one to laugh with you, cry with you, and generally just be there for you in a way that your husband can't be.  Someone who understands your emotions (because she's going through it too!), understands your need for matching shoes and purses, and someone who can talk to you without judging.  I think we all can agree that is a pretty important thing to have.  Honestly, thinking through my life, I don't remember a time when I REALLY had someone like that.  Yes, I had friends, but life happens; and sometimes those friends move one, start their own lives, and you just lose touch.  Or maybe those friends didn't really feel the same way about you, and you get dropped like a hot potato.  Ok, I know that sounds like complaining, but I am going to be transparent and honest, so hang with me a minute.  

     When something like that happens, it hurts.  Pretty bad.  You think you are friends with someone, then something happens to where you need to make a decision.  You make it, praying about it and believing it is the right thing to do, and you are assured by the friends that it doesn't change anything between you.  But it does.  Maybe they don't realize it, but you sure do.  Then the loneliness hits.  You see how the group of friends still are closer than ever with each other, and you feel REALLY left out.  

     Here's where the hard, but good part comes in.  Yeah, I am SO going through this right now.  But this season of loneliness has driven me to my knees (well, the recliner, because I probably couldn't get up from my knees if I tried to get down on them).  I KNOW that I shouldn't feel lonely, because I have the Great Comforter right by my side.  But it's that woman part of me that needs someone here, physically, that I can feel close to.  Honestly, it is hard for me to not have that now, but I seriously feel like God is really working on my heart, to bring me closer to Him.  Here are some verses that I found.  If you are going through something like this, I pray that you too can find comfort in these verses, just like I did!  I didn't write this post to "bash" anyone...and if they read this and take it that way, I hope that they know it wasn't my intention, and their feelings are all on their part, not mine.  I wrote this to get my thoughts on paper (well, computer) in the hopes that I will reflect on it more, and maybe help someone else who is going through this!  

Joshua 1:5 There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

I'm going to post the entire chapter of Psalm 139.  I couldn't believe how much comfort I got from this!  How amazing to know that God is right there! I've marked my favorite parts.

Psalm 139 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.  Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.  Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.  For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.  Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.  Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?  If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.  If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;  Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.  If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.  Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.  For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.  I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.  My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.  How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.  Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.  For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.  Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?  I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.   Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:  And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Psalm 147:3-5

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.  He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.  Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

These are just a few verses...there are so many more!  I will probably do a few more posts as i find more to share.  Remember (like I am trying to do every day) that God is always there...it may seem like you are all alone in the world (believe me, I feel that alot!), but all you have to do is memorize one of these verses and then say it to yourself when you have these feelings.  God will be with you!

Laundry Soap Day!

*****UPDATE*****

I love this recipe so much, and I still have success with it!  However, I have changed one teeny thing and I find I love it even more because of it!  Instead of buying Purex crystals, I make them myself!  All you do is take 2 cups of Epsom salt, and mix about 40 drops of essential oils into the salt.  I used lavender this time and it smells AMAZING.  It is so much cheaper too!  If you want the fabric softener aspect but not the scent, then just add the Epsom salt to the mix without the oils!  If you are looking for GREAT oils, look here.  If you have questions, just ask!

   I LOVE making my own laundry soap!  One day I was thinking that there had to be a cheaper way to get my clothes clean.  So I started researching on the internet, and came across this awesome recipe for laundry soap.  Rather than take the time to take my own pictures, I will share the wonderful description and pictures of someone else!  This is the second time I have made this, and I just love how clean my clothes get, and how good they smell!  So without further ado, I will "pass it on" to the wonderful lady at "Being Creative to Keep My Sanity". (I wish I knew her name!)  She says it costs her about $20 to make it, and I say $25 because I buy Purex crystals to add softener to it and make it smell pretty :) 

Homemade Laundry Soap! 

Sick of buying laundry soap?? Me too. This stuff is awesome because it is way stronger then the store bought laundry soap. You only have to use 1 Tablespoon per load. This recipe makes a huge cookie jar full of soap and is going to last a life time, well maybe not quit that long. I originally made mine in July and I still yo have a ton and I do at least 8 loads of laundry ever week. So I am thinking it will last me almost a year. 1 year of laundry soap for less than $20, have I got you sold yet? I love not having to buy laundry soap all the time anymore. This laundry soap also works just fine in  HE washers. Update: **I just ran out of laundry soap and it is March. So July to March that's 9 months of laundry soap for $20 bucks. I am pretty happy about that.**

Here is what you need:

1 4 lb 12 oz box Borax (2.15 kg or 76 oz) found in the detergent isle

1 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda (1.81 kg) found in the cooking isle

1  box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz (3 lb 7 oz) found in the detergent isle

3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap, found in the detergent isle (if you use Zote bars use 2 bars instead, Zote can be found at Home Depot)

2 small containers of Oxy Clean or store brand Oxy Clean (try to get about 3.5 lbs total (1.58 kg)) found in the detergent isle.

(this is optional, I added it into mine because I have pretty messy kids and the cleaner the better)

You should be able to find all of these items at your grocery store.

**Use 1-2 Tablespoons per load. I know that does not seem like enough but this recipe does not have fillers like the store bought detergent so you only need 1-2 Tablespoons.**

This detergent is fairly mild smelling, it is not over powering. If you love a strong scent you may have to add a fabric softener or laundry crystals to each load. You can find laundry crystals in the detergent isle.

Start out by grating your Fels-Naptha soap just like cheese. You can use a food processor or just use your hand held grater, what ever you have. Those of you with an HE washer may want to run the mix through the grater again to get an even finer mix.
**Don't worry the Fels-Naptha will dissolve in your washer even if you only use cold water like me.**

Toss all ingredients in a 5 gallon bucket lined with a garbage bag. This part makes your whole house smell great. Once everything is mixed store soap however you like. The recipe makes
about 2 gallons worth of detergent. Walmart has large glass jars in the kitchen department.

I used a jar that my sister gave me a few years ago from a little home good store. Then used my Cricut to cut out the word Laundry to put on the front of the jar. I keep it above my washing machine, I also got a little scoop that is about 1 tablespoon to keep inside. Wasn't that easy? Sure was! Enjoy your soap.

 **If you are going to copy my recipe and blog about it please add a link back to my blog. Give credit where credit is due. It would be very appreciated. Thanks:)**

**Update** I have had a lot of repeat questions so I though I would answer a few here.

-This detergent is safe for HE washers and should be added to the barrel instead of the dispenser.
 -This detergent is safe to use on sensitive skin.
-It does not have a strong scent, you can add laundry crystals to the batch to add fragrance.
-Some of my followers have used other bar soap instead of Zote or Fels-Naptha. I have personally not tried it but from the feed back I get it sounds like any bar will work.
-Use 1-2 Tablespoons per load.
-Walmart has nice big glass jars in the kitchen department!
-This is not safe for cloth diapers because it contains baking soda which affects how the diaper is able to soak up liquid.
-I am not sure if this detergent is safe for a septic tank or not, you may have to research it and do what you feel comfortable with.
- I used my Cricut to cut out the vinyl letters for the jar. I used the Story Book font.