Thursday, February 21, 2013

One is the loneliest number...

     Have you ever been in a crowded room, and felt completely and utterly alone?  I can't tell you how many times I have felt this way.  These past few months have been pretty tough for me, and most of it is all because of an important decision I made.  I believe I made the RIGHT decision, but the "results" are harder to take than I thought it would be.  

     Sometimes when you stand up for what you believe in, the world becomes a lonely place.  People who you thought were your friends completely turn from you, and voila! you are completely alone.  It's a tough place to be, but at least you did the right thing...right?  

     As a woman, I think that it is pretty important to have a good to laugh with you, cry with you, and generally just be there for you in a way that your husband can't be.  Someone who understands your emotions (because she's going through it too!), understands your need for matching shoes and purses, and someone who can talk to you without judging.  I think we all can agree that is a pretty important thing to have.  Honestly, thinking through my life, I don't remember a time when I REALLY had someone like that.  Yes, I had friends, but life happens; and sometimes those friends move one, start their own lives, and you just lose touch.  Or maybe those friends didn't really feel the same way about you, and you get dropped like a hot potato.  Ok, I know that sounds like complaining, but I am going to be transparent and honest, so hang with me a minute.  

     When something like that happens, it hurts.  Pretty bad.  You think you are friends with someone, then something happens to where you need to make a decision.  You make it, praying about it and believing it is the right thing to do, and you are assured by the friends that it doesn't change anything between you.  But it does.  Maybe they don't realize it, but you sure do.  Then the loneliness hits.  You see how the group of friends still are closer than ever with each other, and you feel REALLY left out.  

     Here's where the hard, but good part comes in.  Yeah, I am SO going through this right now.  But this season of loneliness has driven me to my knees (well, the recliner, because I probably couldn't get up from my knees if I tried to get down on them).  I KNOW that I shouldn't feel lonely, because I have the Great Comforter right by my side.  But it's that woman part of me that needs someone here, physically, that I can feel close to.  Honestly, it is hard for me to not have that now, but I seriously feel like God is really working on my heart, to bring me closer to Him.  Here are some verses that I found.  If you are going through something like this, I pray that you too can find comfort in these verses, just like I did!  I didn't write this post to "bash" anyone...and if they read this and take it that way, I hope that they know it wasn't my intention, and their feelings are all on their part, not mine.  I wrote this to get my thoughts on paper (well, computer) in the hopes that I will reflect on it more, and maybe help someone else who is going through this!  

Joshua 1:5 There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

I'm going to post the entire chapter of Psalm 139.  I couldn't believe how much comfort I got from this!  How amazing to know that God is right there! I've marked my favorite parts.

Psalm 139 O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.  Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.  Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.  For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.  Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.  Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?  If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.  If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;  Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.  If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.  Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.  For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.  I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.  My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.  How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.  Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.  For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.  Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?  I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.   Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:  And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Psalm 147:3-5

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.  He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.  Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

These are just a few verses...there are so many more!  I will probably do a few more posts as i find more to share.  Remember (like I am trying to do every day) that God is always may seem like you are all alone in the world (believe me, I feel that alot!), but all you have to do is memorize one of these verses and then say it to yourself when you have these feelings.  God will be with you!

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