Here I Am To Worship

I have been writing this in my head for a long time.  Editing it on here so it sounds just right, without offending anyone (I pray!) but getting my heart across in a way that makes sense.  I write this after reading an article posted by David Cloud of wayoflife.org.  In that article (which you can read here), he attacks a church in California for taking Contemporary Christian Music and adapting it to suit their style of music.  Cloud pretty much says that CCM is "pure mysticism created by sensual music (composed of dance rhythms, non-resolving chord sequences, the dramatic rise and fall of the sound, repetition, sensual vocal styles, and electronic distortion)."  I'm not going to go into the rest of that article, but rather just give my thoughts regarding music and worship in the church.  I KNOW there will be people that disagree with my opinions (and that is fine, everyone has a right to their own opinion) but I will NOT argue with people concerning this and if there are any attacks, your comment will not be published. 

     I think that there is a misconception in today's church as to what worship truly consists of.  Webster's 1828 dictionary defines the transitive verb worship as "to adore; to pay divine honors to; to reverence with supreme respect and veneration."  To adore, as defined by the same dictionary, is "to worship with profound reverence; to address with exalted thoughts, by prayer and thanksgiving; to pay divine honors to; to honor as a god or divine." Another definition is "to love in the highest degree; to regard with the utmost esteem, affection and respect; as, the people adore their prince."  When someone is in church worshiping, they should have that adoration.  Nowhere in that definition does it say "when one worships, one raises his hands and jumps up and down;" or "worship is defined as one standing still as a statue with a solemn look on their face."  It says to adore...to reverence...to pay honor to.  And for each and every person in this world, how they adore their Creator is different.  

     I have the privileged of singing on the praise team at our church.  We sing praise songs and adapted hymns.  And I can tell you that in this small group of us that sing on the praise team (and each and every member of the choir as well!) that not one of us stands up there and sings the same way!  There are some that raise their hands, some that jump up and down, and some that just stand and sing.  Is one or the other wrong?  Absolutely not!

     I want to address something that is in that definition by Cloud--the words "sensual music".  I know for me personally, when I am up singing in a service, that I in no way AT ALL fell that the praises I am singing TO GOD are sensual.  That right there threw me for a loop!  Maybe there are some people out there that interpret it as sensual, but I am pretty sure that the majority of church-goers do not feel this way.  As a musician, (and studying music and theory in college), I DO feel that unresolved chord sequences are annoying, and in our church at least, we resolve those for the most part.  There is just something in you that feels like it NEEDS TO RESOLVE!  But on the flip side of that, I have been thinking about something.  I don't know why modern composers choose to end something in an unresolved matter, but maybe it is to allow you to subconsciously keep the thought of the song in your head.  A way to meditate on what you just sang.  I would be interested in exploring that further...maybe one day!

  I am not saying in this post that in order to worship and adore Christ you need to sing the old time hymns and reject modern music.  Nor am I saying we need to "adapt to a new generation" as the only way of worship.  What I am saying is let people worship God how they are comfortable doing that, and you worship God in the way that you are comfortable.  I grew up in a VERY conservative church.  We had an organ, a piano, and a hymnbook.  I can honestly say that growing up I had no problem with that, and we were taught that the CCM movement was wrong.  I can also honestly say that looking back, I never really experienced true worship--in MY heart.  Why that is, I still am not sure, but part of me wonders if it is because I was restricted (without even realizing it!) in my worship.  I was the girl that discovered CCM in high school (Avalon and FFH were my favorites!) and sneaked around behind my parent's back to listen to it (although now that I am a parent I am pretty sure they knew!).  When I went to college, and studied music, that same thought was present (and I truly appreciate my college education and experiences there--that is their stand and I respect that, but it is not mine anymore).  Once again, I stood in church services and sang the hymns, not truly worshiping in my heart because it felt so WRONG feeling emotion in church.  Then I got married and we moved to our current church, where praise music is used.  That is when I experienced worship for the first time.  Being free to allow that emotion to course through my being, was something that I had never experienced, and it brought tears to my eyes.  You see, I am a VERY emotional person (just ask my husband).  A whole new world of responding to the One who created me was opened up in just one service.  And to this day, I still get emotional every single service...now I don't always cry, but there is definitely joy, gratitude, and love flowing through me.  And I pray that it shows on my face.  Because that is what I want people to see in me.

     For those of you who do not attend a church with music like mine, I beg you--allow the Holy Spirit to move in you and allow the emotion of what you are singing to change your life.  You will never be the same.  I am a firm believer (because I have experienced it!) that even the old time hymns (which I love) can cause you to have emotion in worship.  Emotion does not have to be raising your hands, swaying, and jumping up and down.  You can be still as a statue, and have every emotion displayed across your face.  I will be honest and say that it really bothers me when I see people singing in church with sour looks on their faces.  How in the world can you sing "thank you Lord, for saving my soul" or "Amazing grace how sweet the sound" and not FEEL anything?  Jesus saved your soul from eternal separation from Him.  I challenge you to think of the words as you sing.

     One thing that troubles me is the constant picking that goes on from one side to the other.  I honestly don't understand why it is anyone's business how another person worships.  Worship, in my humble opinion, is something that is personal, between you and God.  It is a very private, intimate thing (I mean, would you pick at another couple's love life?  Bad comparison, I know, but when you think about it....). Let me worship how I worship, and I will let you worship how you worship.  I am so thankful to go to a church where if someone sees another raise their hand, they don't feel pressured to do the same.  I admit, it was awkward for me at first to see people raise their hands, and I wouldn't DREAM of doing that, but I never once felt like I was doing something wrong by not swaying and raising my hands.  Now is a different story, because I have become comfortable with the way I worship.  I don't think that once we get to Heaven that the Lord is going to look at us and say "the way you worshiped me, well, it was wrong".  I DO think, however, that when we get to Heaven, the Lord IS going to say either "your worship pleased me" or "why did you not truly worship me?"  The important thing that I am going to concern myself with is that I worship God.  Because we all know that he plainly said that if WE don't, then the rocks will!  Believe me, I do NOT want to get to Heaven and see my Lord disappointed because I did not worship.

     Now, here comes the part where I put my favorite verses about worship in this post.  Let the word of God speak to you and challenge you to evaluate how you worship.

Psalm 29:2  Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Philippians 2:9-11 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Revelation 4:11  Thou art worth, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

Romans 12: 1-2  I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Psalm 59:16  But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning: for thou hast been my defense and refuge in the day of my trouble.

Psalm 150  Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.  Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.  Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.  Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.  Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.  Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

Psalm 100:2  Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

     There are so many more verses in the Bible, but I think that these have to be some of my favorites.  The last thing I want to post on here is some of the words to a very popular praise song.  The words should be the prayer of every believer to God.

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You're my God

You're altogether lovely

Altogether worthy,

Altogether wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost

To see my sin upon that cross

I'll never know how much it cost 

To see my sin upon that cross

Here I am to worship,

Here I am to bow down,

Here I am to say that You're my God

You're altogether lovely

Altogether worthy,

Altogether wonderful to me.

Here I am to worship.